I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize