Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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