How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
