She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize