North Korea, Best Korea!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
