No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
