I need help removing her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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