I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
