on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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