Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize