I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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