so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
