Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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