Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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