Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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