I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
