Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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