I am puke
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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