im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
