Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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