actually, I'm a sock model
Someone shit on the floor
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
