similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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