I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize