no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
