that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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