erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
