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You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
