just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
