We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
