Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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