I hate all girls vehemently.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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