Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
