Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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