Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
