All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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