Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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