brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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