shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
