Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
There are leaves in my underwear?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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