your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
