Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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