Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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