after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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