Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
