Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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