I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
