spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
