By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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