six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize