I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
