he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
