I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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