Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I love you.
Bad choice
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
