i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
