This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
