If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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