I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
