Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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