Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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