I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
