it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
